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Las Vegas, where shit not stinks

My Mother Road - Route 66 trip began in City of Crime, Chicago, IL and continues through Sin City, Las Vegas, NV and finally ended in City of Angels, Los Angeles, CA. Subject of this article vaguely suggests we talk about misery and polish alleged Sin City, Las Vegas, NV. Las Vegas, where shit not stinks...fuck, what I wanted to say? I want to express my contempt for the place where nothing is real. Perhaps even People, because the creatures I have met here, although looks like human, but people do not! Myth of Las Vegas deformed them into puppets, which enjoying and doing everything else, what they can not do elsewhere in the USA! They are like small children when parents left home… or tourists on New Year's Eve in Prague... I said: "Fucking Yanks… go to Europe, perhaps anywhere. More east is much better. Here you will come around incredible feeling of freedom! Laws and bans you will ignore and violate somehow unwillingly. Just think about what form of democracy is better for people...".

Advance warning: "Highway which you get to Las Vegas, like urban roads in the center of Sin City, are grooved. I suppose it is because, that the grooves drain away litters of oil from US cars. I would not recommend driving in shorts and t-shirt! Especially in terms of your safety, as only fall down to Road is very dangerous…Road is like grater! Even if you wear good leather dress with protectors, you will have a problem! Your skin, muscles and bones will be scored away! I tested sharpness of surface in the Vegas rush hour, well I drew my leg behind me on the surface at 5 miles per hour speed… I recognize that my toes dangle out of my shoes after 5 meters. Shit my boots are gone! Can you imagine you fall down in 60 miles per hour?!...".

Road to Las Vegas through Mojave Desert is dull, uninteresting, boring and tiring likewise traveling across Death Valley, NV. Highway to Las Vegasis straight with dense traffic, where the surrounding landscapes not change. Fuck, all Yanks want to visit Las Vegas! They rush into that stinking shit like for mirage, which they considered to fortune!

Risk stem primarily from the fact that between Williams, AZ, and Las Vegas, NV, is a single gas station! No rest stop, park place or something where you could have a rest for a moment or drink in the shadow. From what do you like relax? From painfully sunshine! You are going 120 miles on direct sunlight and no chance to hide in somewhere! So refuel your tank to the full and take at least two liters of water in your side bags. Spin the wheels on your motorcycle… you can drive so fast!

This way has one advantage. It is relatively straight, flat and the surface is very good. The result is that the speed of travel is and will be very agile. You can not see anything around the highway, well you can not take pleasure in something, so just drive 85 miles per hour. No Easy Rider, no joy! It is just dumb moving from point A to point B.

There is definitively Las Vegas. Typical crisscross suburban roads with highway grade separations and traffic jam. Maybe it was just illusion, but I felt more aggressive drivers in "Sin City" on the roads, known from "Prague - Golden City". After a few minute troubles spent in columns we get The Strip. Here is all the shit. Turn left at the MGM casino and steer for motel. We stay about 0.5 km from the Main Street. It was the first day I can wear swimsuits and jump to swimming pool. I always look forward to see and use swimming pool aside US motel, but I wanted to live through somewhere in the abandoned desert motel beside Mother Road - Route 66. Things worse, generally swimming pools beside Mother Road - Route 66 were frozen, and I am not See-Cow, it did not work!

I bought a beer, took a towel and sun cream and go directly to swimming pool. There is relatively free. I sit on the first available seat at small table, put my feet on the second seat and stare around. Sometimes I suck the beer. I feel hot, so I go swim. There is nobody in Swimming pool. I jump headlong into the water. My swimming style is based on diving and swimming underwater to the other side and round about. I got onto water and went to my place. The COP pokes along at front of me. He said: “It is true you are drinking beer here?!”. "Yes I am" I said. Reply: "That is forbidden here!". I said amazingly: "I thing it is OK in Las Vegas!". The cop says: "It is, but on the street or in a bar! Not at the swimming pool! You'll have to take the beer out of the pool!". Upon this I reply to him that I drink up my beer in a minute and throw the tin into trash. He almost fucked up! He said no way and I must my beer throw away immediately! OK man, no problem, if you want... accompany me till to the trash outside the pool area. Than he told me that I disturb the other ban... I asked him: “What kind of ban?”. “You are diving in the swimming pool!”, he said. I stare at him and reply: “What?”… COP said: “You can not dive! You must keep your head under the water.”... Really it is crappy “Sin City", where you can not even dive! I peed on COP and leave to room. There I tell the story to the others! They just disbelievingly shake their head...

Jake is looking forward to the city like little Joe, so we go to Hooters. There are supposedly girls who wear constraint dress. So what? We sit down and order meal, spicy Hooters wings and sweet and sour sauce. Two buckets... really big dose! What to say, obviously waiters forebode clients came from underdeveloped country? They are not too much willingness. We are finishing eat, paid and let's go out. Walk through the casino, have fun with friends and someone of us say: "Do we want play something, when we are in Las Vegas, do not we?". We stop at the dice table and let the crew explain the rules to me. I do not understand it at all and fuck it. No way, I don want to get rid of my 100 bucks, shit on it! Fuck the casino, let's go explore the depravity of “Sin City”.

I wanted to go to theatre. But there is nothing I wanted to see. Solely exclusive Cats Musical Performance followed by 4 repeats, but unfortunately without the term…

It is already darkness, so I walk along the Strip from Luxor/ Mandalay Bay Hotel at one end to the Caesar Palace on the other. There is plenty of people on the street who can drink some spirits… wow, imagine the rebellion, without sack! They even can smoke! Yanks feel wonderfully free and happy. Grandiose self-delusion! The best of Las Vegas is "singing fountain" in front of Bellagio Hotel. There is light / music show every hour, accompanied by well-known evergreens. I am bored for a minute, so I decided to go to Harley-Davidson Cafe for a short drink. Look around the Cafe and there you can see Captain America motorcycle. It is not original by Peter Fonda, but naughty replica, however you can make a photo on it for20 US$. I continue to Hard Rock Cafe with a similar scenario. I do not care soak and soak! Here is nobody who wanted to talk about Mother Road - Route 66. I am going back to the hotel and look forward to tomorrow's Death Valley National Park trip.

I am processing my material, studying the U.S. map, and suddenly break into the door my friend, screaming: "Hey dude, we called a Bitch! The Bitch of Las Vegas! Come and take a look on her, quickly!". Pink ghost appeared out of car in a bathrobe. It wheeze up the stairs and with typical American affected enthusiasm asking: “What do you want honey?”. Some of us say: “the fuck honey”! Her reply stunned me completely! The monster tells to us: "Oh sweetie, I do not fuck. I can do peep show or I can do blow job to you. It is for extra money. So sweetie, now you give me150 US$!". Mark stare on her and asks: "What for?". “For transport sweetie” she replies and shows on a big Negro down. Mark said... “No”. Negro comes up and said: “You called her man. We are the right on it!”... "But I wanted fuck her instead of stare on monster at Pink gear!" ... Negro does not hesitate, saying: "OK, we will call cops!". What the fuck! Bully calls the Cop to his trick! Cop arrived on quad for a minute, wheeze up and says that he must pay if he dial “Call girl”. It is in the conditions. Mark replies: “What conditions you talk about?! I did not read or received any! Phone operator did not inform me that American girls do not fuck!”…Cop became serious and gurgle something to Negro. The result was that he must give 50 bucks to Negro. This is fucking America...